Taiwan...Wednesday (?): Wacky News!

Er, for the sake of alliteration, I'll subtitle this post "Wacky News Wednesday!"

Democracy is great!

Democracy for Taiwan not only meant the end to nearly four decades of martial law, but also brought with it freedom of the press. And there is no press as free as Taiwan's, if by "free," one means free to fill twenty-four-hour news shows with every banality caught by surveillance cameras throughout the island, and free to re-enact anything not caught on film with Lego-head computer graphics (see this NYT article, from which the Tiger Woods graphic above was taken. Yes, that's his wife chasing his SUV with a golf club).

I know American news isn't much better, but I do think, with all due respect and love, that Taiwanese media has a special fascination for driving into the ground every detail of some pretty strange stories.

Case-in-point #1:

A 13-year-old boy was playing on his computer when his mother came in and told him she wasn't feeling well. She then collapsed on the floor behind him (this I know, because I saw in it computer animation) and lay there, dead, for two hours before he finally turned around and noticed.

The clincher to the story was when he was being interviewed by the news crew, he was still on his computer, fixated by the screen.

This story was broadcast a few times an hour one day.

Case-in-Point #2:

A man was in his office, drinking some water from the office cooler, when he noticed little black flecks in his cup. Curious, he went to the water cooler and discovered a goldfish swimming inside.

This story was not computer animated, since the crew was able to capture live video of the fish the cooler.

Case-in-Point #3:

A woman was having a seizure at the side of the road. Luckily, a bus driver noticed and leapt to her rescue by shoving his new Louis Vuitton wallet into her mouth. Sure, it's a great rescue story, but the bit about the Louis Vuitton wallet was kind of the clincher for me.

Case-in-Point #4:

Someone is making pornographic pics with X-Ray machines! And because these are basically just skeletons in high heel and provocative poses, it's okay to show on the noon news!! Egads!!

*car crash picture above courtesy of my 9-year-old cousin, who had just discovered the joys of an iphone camera.