Sister pSychology

Ok, against my better judgment, I'm going to try out this sister advice post again. This time, I and A. drew together all the sisters to confer on a question we got last week. We had a facebook conversation about it, which is below. Remember, send us your questions--on any topic--and we'll see what the oracle of the sisters has to say.
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Question from Greta:

I have a sister too, and I think she's annoying. Sometimes. She's very demanding and constantly makes me go out of my way to get her stuff ALL THE TIME! Being the soft-hearted me, I always do it, though I don't want to most of the time. And it seems as if she only makes me, not my other siblings, do things because I'm probably the only one that does it.
So how do you deal with annoying sisters? And how do you get yourself to say no sometimes?



A:
Greta, you are so nice! Will you be my sister? By the way, can you stop by Costco and pick up some Tabasco for me? I’m all out. One of the most common phrases heard in my house is, “No, do it yourself.” I’m not kidding. “Shawna/Tina/Emily, will you help me with dishes/vacuuming/take out the trash?” “NO ANNIE, DO IT YOURSELF!” Sometimes there will be insult added in there, something like, “Don’t be so damn lazy!!”

Greta, here are some phrases you should learn and start using the next time your sister asks for something that cause you inconvenience: “No, do it yourself!” “Don’t be so damn lazy!” “I’m not your slave!” It’s not mean, it’s just enough for your bossy sister to know she’s not the boss of you. She will still love you.

Tina July 21 at 2:12pm Reply

I, too am the "nice" sister, always wanting to say "yes" and hardly ever saying "no" (wouldn't you 3 agree???) Anyways, I guess if I was faced with a "I dont really want to do this" scenerio I would make up an excuse but the people pleaser in me would be guilt ridden! So I guess Im not the best sister to answer the question; do it if you can and if you cant tell her you're sick (just kidding).

Annie July 21 at 2:56pm Reply

@ Tina, I don't know if you can consider yourself the nice sister when:
1. You refused to let me store your placenta in your fridge.
2. You didn't let me keep your son's foreskin.
3. You've never dog sat for me.

Feeling guilty?? :o) I'm kidding and yes, you are a lot nicer than Shawna and Emily.

Shawna July 21 at 4:05pm

That's really funny since I think it's generally agreed *I'm* the nice one. After all, I slept on the couch for a WHOLE year so that each of you could have your own bedroom! Any future back problems I develop will be a symbol of my devotion to my sisters.

I *never* say no. I just don't answer my phone.

In any case, it's not a contest. I think we are all pretty nice. But you certainly have no problem telling me off if you feel taken advantage of. I guess that's because you know I'll still love you.

That makes me pretty nice, no?

Shawna July 21 at 4:06pm

PS I've never said, "Don't be so damn lazy."!!

Tina July 21 at 4:37pm Reply

Omg everyone is soooo funny, I am by far the nicest one:p
Annie, I was going to let you have my childs placents, that's gotta count for something and brian was the one in the room for the circumcision, I was picking up my daughter. And hey u got a umbilical cord! And bring penny anytime! Lol!! By far the nicest:) (I'm laughing as I write this)

Emily July 21 at 4:47pm Reply

I won't claim to be the "nice" sister. I think that's a particularly futile effort given that we're all rather snarky and... well, we're sisters. But look, I'm nice enough to come answering when Annie comes a-callin'.

I've dog-sat, cooked dinner, and traveled long ways for each and every one of my sisters. None of them deserve the title as a "nice" sister as I remember a tortured childhood, living terrified under the trauma and abuse of wedgies, indian burns, rug burns, chin hickeys, burps, farts, embarrassment, and of course being constantly told, "your breath is 'bummpin."

Thanks Shawna, Tina, and Annie--thanks for all those great memories. It is often hard to say "no" to you guys but I only have to remember back to how loving and wonderful you all were to remember that you only want the very best for me. Often, the best for me means a "no" for you. Love you guys!

Annie July 21 at 4:51pm Reply

OMG! I remember the chin hickeys! Tina, I am stripping you of the nice sister title, you were terrible!

Annie July 21 at 4:52pm Reply

And Emily, you are almost as bad as Shawna when it comes to answering your phone. Don't pretend like you answer my calls.

Tina July 21 at 10:15pm Reply

I laughed so hard reading this! I forgot about chin hickeys! Lol sorry !

Annie:

To get back to your question Greta, it’s easy to say ‘No’ to your sister. Just say it and be polite but firm. Learning to say no will likely help the relationship as you will no longer feel annoyed and used by her, and she might start doing things for herself or asking other siblings for favors.

Learn to say no, or have her call one of us and we’ll say no for you.